Three Hundred and Three

Dear Callumz,

I think this was a mistake. Trying to write notes again...it hasn't made anything better. It's just made everything worse.

Look where we are now: You won't talk to me; and I'm feeling like the worst person in the world and I don't know how to fix it. I just don't understand how everything went so wrong.

So I'll guess this is my last note for a while. There's no point in doing it if you just don't care.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you now; if I'm supposed to say anything h at all. I can't be the girlfriend you want me to be. It doesn't matter how many nights I spend crying myself to sleep over not being able to give you what you want- it doesn't change the fact that you don't want me, because good intentions don't balance out the crap when everything goes wrong.

Love always (if I'm still allowed to say that),
Kaiteh

Three Hundred and Four

Dear Callumz,

I'm lying on the couch thinking about you right now. It's one of those times when you just couldn't be happier; when everything is so perfect you couldn't imagine it being any other way and you wouldn't want it to be. I'm lying here thinking about the future- the way we'll be together, for the first time...

The first time...the first time I'll be with anybody like that; the first time I'll hold you in my arms and know that everything will be okay from that moment on.

I wonder whether we'll kiss for the first time when I step off that plane and into your arms...or whether we'll wait for the perfect scene when we're completely alone...and I wonder what the first words we say to each other will be...I think I know exactly what I'll say...

I don't know exactly what the future holds for the two of us, but I know that it's ours- our lives are intertwined now...we love each other; we always have and we always will.

Low always,
Kaiteh.