Dear Callumz,
I'm sitting in another of my favourite places. There's a set of stairs down the side of the performing arts block. There's a bunch of trees in front of me and a cement wall behind me so I can't see all the touchy-feely couples getting a little too close or the thirteen year old girls complaining in hushed tones about something apparently deep and meaningful.
I'm sheltered by the roof of the building, and from the opposite direction there's warm sunshine that settles comfortably like a blanket on my legs. I can smell the gumtrees and dead leaves around me.
I'm exhausted. I could easily fall asleep right here where no one would disturb me. I could just relax and fall so deeply asleep that nothing would wake me for days.
The only problem is that you're not here.
Love always,
Kaiteh.
Dear Kaiteh,
ReplyDeleteDon't ever think that no one loves you.
Do you know what I'm doing right now?
I'm writing to you on a blog that you made on day 500 for us to exchange how we feel about our life together. Our love.
Day 500.
"Dear Callumz,
I don't know the last time I've felt so nervous. But honestly, I am panicking a little.
I've never done anything like this before. I have never written anything for anybody- not poetry, not stories, not love letters. I usually write for me, and me alone.
But you're not just anyone. You are my boyfriend who I love more than anyone in the world, and you and I know each other on such a level that we may as well be extensions of each other.
Because you're different, I've constructed a place where we can write to each other- I will write you a letter every day until we are together again, and you may write back if you choose.
I don't know whether you'll like the idea so much, but I can only hope that you will.
Love always,
Kaiteh."
Well Kaitlin, I may write back. And I choose to. It's more than just because I love you... I want you to know just how much you mean to me. It's more than love. It's a need. I actually need you. I don't think I could survive without you anymore. I need to hear your cute little breaths at night... I need to hear you say you love me, because sometimes, I too, doubt anyone does... I should care for you because you're important to me. You are an important part of my life. I will try my best to make your life as perfect as it can be. You don't deserve any less. I know it doesn't seem like I'm doing a terribly good job right now, but you'v-...we've just got to wait it out until we can be together. I also know that it's difficult to wait so long, but there are 2 things that are important to remember: time goes fast, and it'll be more than worth it when we're together.
Your parents are being asshats... I'm not going to lie. I'm disappointed about how they've made you feel, it's not particularly nice...
I can't do much to fix this, but I'll always be here, okay? You won't ever have no one. You will always have me. Always.
I'm just an iMessage away. Or a phone call. Or a plane ticket.
I promise you I'll try as hard as I can to see you before day 0. Things like my parents can have an effect on that...
All I want to do is make you smile.
Whenever I see you smile, it reminds me of my purpose.
To make you happy. It lets me know I'm doing okay. That I'm good for you.
That my kaiteh is alright.
I promise you that I'll always try to make you happy.
Nothing else...
Your Callumz is here for you, always.
And your Callumz loves you.
And your Callumz will marry you, some day...
And your Callumz thinks that it'll be worth it just to see his Kaiteh smile once he proposes.
I really want to see that smile...more than anything...;)
Kaiteh, I'm always here...your Callumz...
I'm always going to keep you safe...
Callumz will keep Kaiteh safe...
Love always,
Callumz